Other People’s Stress

Do you let other people’s negative moods and stress affect you?  It’s very easy to do, especially if you are an empathetic person, or if you are stressed yourself or have low self esteem.

I know how it feels for example when you arrive at work and the boss makes their grumpiness known and you start to feel tense and agitated yourself.  Or if someone snaps at you for some reason, it’s very easy to rise to it and join in with the negativity, even though you were feeling fine beforehand.

It’s very easy to absorb other people’s negative vibes and if you have low self-esteem you could think that in some way it must be your  fault and get anxious about that too.

Sometimes friends and family like to off-load their ‘stuff’ onto us – and it’s great to be trusted in such a way and to provide that listening ear and be supportive to them but do we really need to take on some of their feelings as our own?

It’s certainly not helpful to them if you are feeling bad too.

The good news is, you can be there for your friends and family without jumping into the sinking sand with them.  You can sit on the side and throw them a lifeline and help them feel better.

It is important to recognise, however close you are to them, that the bad feelings are theirs and it is not in your or their interests for you to absorb any if it. They are following their own path through life, however closely entwined it is with yours.

You can be empathetic without out getting sucked into to sinking sand with them.   You can throw them a lifeline but stay on the bank.

Here are some ways to help protect yourself.

Recognise that the bad feelings or negative attitudes are theirs, generated from their thought patterns, beliefs and experiences.  However close you are to them, they are following their path through life and you are following yours. You can empathise, support them and be a listening ear but don’t carry their stuff around with you.

Deal with your own stuff.  If you are feeling good within yourself, you are far stronger and able to help others without absorbing their negativity.

There are many things you can do to help yourself stay as stress-free as possible, healthy diet and exercise, mediation or self-hypnosis, massage, a good work/life balance, time with friends, making space for being creative and learning – to name just a few.

Sometimes, professional help can really turn things around in a short space of time – there is no shame these days in seeing a therapist and it is completely confidential anyway.

Visualisations that can help include:

• When you are in the shower, visualise the water is is washing away the stresses and strains of the day, leaving you feeling cleansed emotionally.
• At night when you are in bed, close your eyes, allow your body to become heavy and relaxed, then imagine all the stresses and worries of the day just drifting out of you, like a mist or a colour.
• Imagine as you breathe, you are breathing in calmness and breathing out tension.
• Each day you could visualise yourself in a protective bubble of a particular colour that feels right to you.  A bubble that is shielding you from the negativity of others, deflecting unhelpful vibes.

If you would like a confidential chat to see how hypnotherapy could help you or others you know, then please do be in touch.